Awaken to your True Self; your God(ly) Self!
Updated: Oct 8, 2018
What does it mean to awaken to your true self; your Godly self?
I began my conscious awareness to awakening to my Godly self on my birthday December 12, 2014, approximately 4 years ago. This journey allowed me to see just how much of the “CREATOR BEING” I am. Just how much I chose my life and created the experiences that have all transpired in my life up to this point.
History: I had just chosen to end a 15year relationship with the man I was married to for the past 4 years. I had lived a life for others for as long as I could remember. Coming from a traumatic and what felt like a trauma filled childhood, I longed for a sense of belonging, acceptance and control of my life. When my ex came into my life at the age of 16, all sexual and mental abuse stopped suddenly/immediately; at least that was the feeling received at the time. I decided to show the man that was portrayed as my savior just how much I loved him for saving my life from future trauma and turmoil (an experience created in my head that never existed nor showed any promise of ever existing). In those 15 years, I experienced so many ups and downs (and certainly more ups than downs). I felt like I was so great, and yet, truly flawed beyond belief. I knew I was an exceptional individual for I excelled in all I did, however reminded that I was not enough at every turn, I became the breadwinner and caretaker; still utilizing it as a form of control not yet understood. I became the head of the house and seen myself as superior in every way, without outwardly expressing it, always hiding it and never wanting to flaunt it…. Or so I thought. I knew based on feeling and emotion that I loved harder and stronger than anyone I knew, especially my peers, I became a burden bearer for all those I came in contact with wanting to help and show my love. Another way of wanting to be accepted and loved.
Toward the end of my relationship with my ex husband I began a spiritual awakening that lead me to go within and dig deep to find myself. Here I was living for everyone else I had no clue who I was and what I was. I had no idea the things I liked and disliked, I had no idea what was fun to ME. I had never been and or lived alone my entire life. Here I am hitting 30 and I had always been in a relationship and living with another.
This is where the thick of the awakening took place!!!
When you are all alone and no one is around you, no one you can have around you never seems to quite get it, no one ever fully understands that which is transpiring in you and around you. Life as you know it is no more. I cried and pleaded for companionship, to not feel and be alone, although I was the one to walk away from the last relationship. I pleaded so that the first man to walk into my life who felt genuine and sparked a connection I fell for gregariously and with all I had. I wanted to show myself and him (who was in need of saving) that he too was worthy of being loved. This relationship and experience was the greatest jolt of awakening I had experienced to date. I loved him unconditionally and without fault or flaw, I would gasp at the immensity of our passion, so much so that when it ended, how it ended I knew then the universe was assisting me to release ALL Karmic tithes. That breakup was so painful, so detrimental to my old way of living that I truly had to die to my old self and submit to a rebirth. I consciously and intellectually could map all things that had happen to me for the first 3 years after said separation that was to pay of all karmic debt. I understood my part, my role and my creation of all that happened. As much as I wanted to blame them for their actions, I knew that they had only submitted and gave of themselves to play a role in my experience and I theirs.
This offered up the one most significant point of clarity and that was I was indeed the creator of all things I believed and perceived from my very own reality. Hence making me God in every way. Knowing that I am God Gods self; present in this moment in time to live abundantly and experience all that I am to experience. I began to see the integral part that all conscious beings played in one another’s life. To see that we are all connected and ONE. One with thine self, One with each other and One with the Source; the Source from which all things derive. I began loving me first and foremost, teaching me, learning about me, both inside and out, listening to my intuition and understanding that feelings and emotions are a 6th sense that we need to perfect, learn and trust in; as it is a guide through life. We are taught from birth how to separate from our Godly selves by adhering to the ways of yesteryear. We are taught language, language that depicts right and wrong, yes and no, good and bad, a language that insinuates how we should and must live. We are so ingrained to the way of society that we don’t even recognize that we are asleep to the matrix and programming of the world. Now is the time to see that for what it is and when you do, you can begin to consciously awaken one moment at a time.
Have you been on an awakening journey? How has it been? What are some of the experiences you have faced sense you began to awaken to your true and Godly self?